Circular Reasoning

If you found the Time Thieves and Out of Your Head and Into Your Hands posts even mildly interesting, it’ll worth a visit to anarchists. The flash movie takes a few minutes to watch; it’s been there since April and was still running at the time of me posting this. Some basic concepts but looked at slighthly differently and amusingly….

Enough of reading me raving about it, go watch it and make up your own mind.

In my work over the past decade, I’ve been constantly reminded how difficult it is for caring, passionate, motivated individuals to set limits with the demands of others…

And yet this inability to say “NO” or “WAIT” undermines their effectiveness and their health.

For this reason, I am announcing the offer of a special coaching package focussed on setting limits and learning appropriate times and ways to say NO.

The package consists of six 45 minute coaching appointments over two months, via telephone. I offer this service at $360 for the full course.

For a no-obligation chat about how this package might work for you, please phone me on + 61 03 8743 3950 or email me at peter@greatcircle.com.au . This reduced fee service is available to people enquiring before the end of September 2006.

When you think of a great character actor, who comes to mind? For me it’s Johnny Depp.

Just think about the differences in his roles as Jack Sparrow, Edward Scissorhands, Mort Rainey  (Secret Window), Spencer Armacost (The Astronaut’s Wife) … and of course - Willy Wonka! Now, compare him with someone like Bruce Willis.

Willis almost exclusively plays the “burnout cop/criminal/taxi-driver/soldier on the verge of losing everything who finds his inner nobility and saves the day.” That’s basically his role in every movie he’s starred in.

Human beings are more like Depp than Willis in that we often change roles depending on the situation we’re in and the needs we have at the time. What roles do you play? And which serve you well? Which don’t? It’s helpful to become both aware of them and intentional about which are most responsible and helpful for certain contexts.

Personally, I know that when I play the “He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed” role with my older son, he automatically puts on his “Lawyer” (“let-me-show-you-the-error-in-your-reasoning-and-or-syntax”) role! There follows an escalating argument in which no one wins.

However when I change roles in my head to “Mentor” or “Coach”, the lad can’t play the Lawyer role – it doesn’t make sense. The two “scripts” don’t match. So he inevitably reverts to a more open-minded and co-operative role.

Which role do you play in job interviews? “Charity case” or “Worthy Prospect”?

Which role do you play in family dynamics? “Victim”, “Cheer Squad”, “Rescue Ranger”, “Self-Defined Adult”, “Spoiled Child”?

Which role do you play professionally? …..

You get the drift.

Try some different roles in problemic situations and see how it changes the “script”, the dynamic, the response of others, your own feelings and perspective.

 Oh, and you might like to try this link for fun to find out which Depp role most suits you: depp-quiz.

Apparently, i most resemble Willy Wonka!!??!  Hmmm…..

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

- Steven Wright

“What happened to this month? I’ve been busy but I don’t seem to have accomplished anything!”

Ever felt like that? It can be the same feeling about a year, a week, a day or even a morning. Sometimes when you look back at that period of time, does it feel like someone stole the time away? Well maybe they did.

In coaching both professionals and longterm unemployed to remain focussed in their career plans, I developed this simple idea for them: there are people and there are activities in your life whose basic purpose is to steal your time.

They don’t ask, they take. They don’t contribute, they take. They do not help you and – while they may not appear to be hindering you either – time is a non-renewable resource: if they waste that afternoon, it’s gone for ever.

Look back at the week just gone…

• What were the leisure activities that didn’t leave you feeling refreshed or re-energised?
• Which people were a drain on your time – not because they truly needed your attention, but because they saw you as an easy “mark”?
• What do you find yourself habitually turning to so that you can put off the hard-things, the responsbilities, the challengeing behaviours that will actually move you forward?

Get a few answers to these questions and you will begin to indentify the time-thieves that are hanging around your life. The next question is:

• Are you just gonna let them rob you from now on? Or is it time to start defending yorself against them?

 So HE’S to blame!!!!!