So dependency theory has underlined some of the ways we become hooked either ON something/someone or BY something/someone. He/she/it has power and control over some portion of our being or resources.
What do you do when you want it to stop?
SOLUTION #1: Cost Reduction
This is where the party on whom the power is being used adjusts to make that use bearable. This is not really a solution at all but it can appear to be for the person being controlled .
Remember Jenny in the post Sources of “Power” to Control Others? One of the ways in which Jenny can escape the conflict she feels is to redefine the situation so that she won’t feel bad. She can change her moral views. She can convince herself that since they will inevitably marry anyway, it’s OK.
In the same post, we met Jeff who has already applied this solution to his own detriment.
This happens in businesses where the supplier is told “there are other suppliers cheaper than you – if you don’t give us a lower price we’ll walk.” The supplier lowers their price but to maintain their comfort level [that is their profit margin] they literally reduce costs by using inferior parts and making staff work harder for less .
The bottom line is that all of these “solutions” – after a time delay – will cause further harm .
SOLUTION #2: Simplifying life.
I run a 2-hour workshop around this theme. In this context it simply means our Party B (the one being controlled) reduces his/her need for what A provides .
When the Arab nations put the screws on the West in one oil crisis, the U.S. rationed gasoline and lowered speed limits, reducing the need for oil.
Jenny could lose interest in dating, undertake counseling to lower her anxiety about missing out on the right man, could undertake a yearlong spiritual journey to find peace and purpose before finding a man on a par with her.
Jeff could find a job with the same pay but less responsibility/hours in order to restrategise/revise his career plan. There are plenty of companies that will pay him that lower rate for doing less and this becomes his chance to find a new way to do the work he loves (and get paid what he deserves!) long-term. Or Jeff could simply accept a longer commute to work in his chosen field in a company on the other side of town.
Simplify life around your core values and be content with less. The more desperately you need something (and the more you desparately need), the more vulnerable you are to being controlled. Just like a drug high, the more used to a certain lifestyle you get, the more you start doing things just to maintain it.
SOLUTION #3: Find alternative sources for the same “services”.
Jenny joins a tennis club or returns to study where she meets new guys.
Jeff researches a greater spread of opportunities for people with his expertise. Alternatively, since Jeff has been depending on his employer for a certain level of income, he could develop his own skills to increase their need for him.
The supplier we spoke of earlier makes a trip to South Korea to source more clients.
Where Person A has been the conduit for anything from information and expertise to potential control over Person B’s reputation and even to grace, Person B can begin to find ways to get to the source. For instance, she/he can build relationships directly with the people to whom his/her reputation is important .
SOLUTION #4: Raising Person A’s need for what B provides.
This is why unions were so powerful in the 20th Century.
What if Jeff could find a way to solve the problems his company has been repeatedly paying several contractors to solve?
What if the supplier could develop a unique product line not available anywhere else?
What if the one being gossiped about inserted her/himself into more of the relationships that person A has, thereby reducing Person A’s monopoly on their reputation?
This includes reducing the alternatives that Person A has. Jenny makes friends with the other girls Vince dates. They start refusing to go out with him out of consideration for her. Jeff takes on another qualification.
WRAP-UP:
Hope there’s been something helpful here. I think this is the basis for a great conversation. I’d love to make this post a hub for questions, ideas and comments …
For our purposes, authority means “A position of leadership that comes from either natural or organisational relationship” (e.g. parent, mentor, manager, Colonel or teacher). “Power” in dependency theory refers to “the ability to make Person B do things they wouldn’t otherwise want to do for the benefit of Person A”.
